Who am I?
This question has fueled the search for my true identity throughout much of my life. Am I my thoughts about who I want to be or who I think I am (which seems to keep changing from moment to moment and day to day), my fears about not being good enough? Am I this body with all its changing emotions and sensations, its illnesses and desires and eventual death?
I was fortunate to have begun life with a safe and secure childhood, knowing basically that I was cherished and encouraged to be happy. Despite this fairly happy beginning, there was (as long as I can remember) a longing for something more, to understand the real purpose of life and how to attain it.
My college attendance was cut short by boredom – nobody there seemed to have the answers to my heart’s longings. Religion fell short – there was always something missing, something beyond all the platitudes and promises. My dream of finding happiness through marriage and family was dashed as my early marriage fell apart, and my heart spun into despair, as I struggled through many years as a single parent.
Years of studying yoga philosophy, communication skills and learning to quiet the mind through meditation turned me inward to clean up the chaos of spinning thoughts and illusions keeping my mind confused. The more the thoughts have calmed, the more obvious it’s become that what I’ve wanted has always been inside me — in my heart, you might say. In that still, quiet spaciousness in the core of my heart lies the peace that fulfills all my longing.
My journey has been blessed by a number of teachers with deep spiritual maturity and insight. Below are some of those wonderful mentors, whose teachings gradually led to my current fascination with the process of self-inquiry and facilitating sessions for others with the tools of Scott Kiloby’s Living Inquiries. I am extremely grateful for what I have learned and can now share.
I am also grateful for my rich relationships with my four children, six grandchildren, beloved extended family and dear friends, who constantly inspire me to keep growing. I live and work in Eugene, Oregon.
A Few of My Mentors
Since the spring of 2012, when I took my first class with Scott Kiloby, I’ve been hooked on Scott’s simple clarity and practical tools for seeing through the illusions of who I’ve believed myself to be — the fears and anxieties, the shoulds and shouldn’ts, the stressful mixture of regrets for the past and fears for the future. I loved every minute of my initial training to become a facilitator of his Living Inquiries, and continue daily doing the inner work and facilitating others with their own discoveries. Scott has created supportive online communities for sharing our progress in working with compulsions and addictions, fears and anxieties, and the general uprooting of all that resists a free and joyful existence.
Please see the About Scott page for more about his teachings and offerings.
Baba Hari Dass
Yoga and Meditation – For many years I was blessed to study with Baba Hari Dass, a silent yogi from India and the inspiration for Mount Madonna Center in the Santa Cruz Mountains, where I lived and worked. He taught me to inquire into my own true nature, and to see that real liberation already exists within myself. I am deeply grateful for his training in yoga, meditation and inquiry, and for the inspiration of his beautiful life of service.
When I realized I needed help with relationships, I discovered my precious mentor in Effective Communication, Selwa Said. Over many years I watched her live and teach from her strong sense of “Self” – firmly established in self-esteem and respect for others. She has helped me learn self-acceptance, which also awakens the ability to accept and treasure others. Effective Communication is about not taking things personally, and learning to temper anger and blame by taking responsibility for one’s own thoughts, feelings and beliefs. I call my facilitation of this work Heart-Centered Communication.
My Hakomi Therapy training began with a month-long immersion program in 2012 in Ashland, Oregon led by Adama Hamilton and Silvia Kohen, who both studied personally with Hakomi’s founder, Ron Kurtz. Hakomi practice (a form of body-centered psychotherapy) is based on an atmosphere of loving presence, using principles of mindfulness, nonviolence and somatic awareness. This powerful combination evokes unconscious core memories, experiences and beliefs, bringing them to consciousness where they can be studied and transformed. I find these practices to be greatly aligned with Scott Kiloby’s Living Inquiries work.